Asylum
by GothicFAED
Summary: RENAMED! Used to be "Thank You For All I Have Lost". *Chapter 5
1. DISCLAIMER don't bother unless u care

PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT RANDOM AUTHOR RANTINGS, SUMMARIES, OR DISCLAIMERS!!! THERE IS NOTHING OF USE  
TO YOU HERE!!! PLEASE!!! GO!!! ONWARD!!! TO CHAPTER TWO!!!   
*AND DO *NOT* FORGET TO REVIEW!!!*  
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A NOTE FROM THE DISGRUNTLED AUTHOR:  
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Li: This fic's gonna be really long...and prolly...there will be a sequel...if I can stick with it...  
  
Nicki: long and hard to write?  
  
Li: yes...all work and no play makes Inu a dull boy!  
  
Nicki: he's a boy? I thought he was a demon-cat-thingy?  
  
Li: he's a boy...demon DOG thingy...dumb!  
  
Nicki: dog?  
  
Li: yes...DOG...  
  
Nicki: Oh................................  
  
Li: Anywhoo...moving along, this is my fic...I am trying _VERY_ hard to make it fresh, new, interesting and MOST IMPORTANTLY:  
  
GOOD  
However, after posting and reposting 4 times, I have gotten a MEASLEY 2 REVIEWS!!! C'MON PEOPLE!!! THIS IS HIGH-QUALITY WORK!  
THIS TOOK ME TIME!!! AND YOU LAZY ASSES SIT THERE AND DON'T REVIEW!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU...  
  
*ahem* what I'm trying to say is that I am not going to put my effort and time into writing something VERY good that no one   
will read.   
  
So here's what we're gonna do:   
  
I refuse to write ANYMORE until I get 10 POSITIVE reviews on chapter one "Insomniac's Dream"!  
  
Once I get 10 positive reviews, I will post the 2nd Chapter...to be titled " I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight"  
  
PLEASE! If you have comments or ideas for where my story should go send them in an e-mail to me, or in your review... I only   
have a few specific points and places this story needs to go...how we get to these places is your choice!  
  
Ja ne! Now...onto...technical...shit...:  
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SUMMARY:  
Well...here we go...my multipurpose story! It will eventually have fluff, yaoi, heartbreak,poetry, famous song lyrics, angst,  
suicide, sex, intrique,danger...well...okay...I made the last two...or three up...but even I have to say, it looks promising  
I like it a lot!!!  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inu Yasha...[well, besides the hours between 12 and 4 AM, that is...LMAO...j/k!]However, the  
poem to be included in this fic and anything written here is MINE unless otherwise noted!!! BWAH! BOW TO MY POWER!!!  
  
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	2. Insomniac's Dream

*****I refuse to write ANYMORE until I get 10 POSITIVE reviews on chapter one "Insomniac's Dream"!*****  
  
Once I get 10 positive reviews, I will post the 2nd Chapter...to be titled " I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight"  
  
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Also, the words "I'm just a dreamer...who dreams their life away, I'm just a dreamer, who dreams of better days..."  
and  
"If only we could all just find serenity...it would be nice if we could live as one...when will all this anger,hate   
and bigotry ...be gone?" are by the famous Ozzy Osbourne [SHARON!] from a song called "Dreamer" off his "Down To Earth"  
album...lyrics included on the bottom...listen to it...it's soft, oddly pretty and un-ozzy-ish!  
  
Okay...DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inu Yasha...[well, besides the hours between 12 and 4 AM, that is...LMAO...j/k!]However, the  
poem to be included in this fic and anything written here is MINE unless otherwise noted!!!  
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Thank you for being just what you are...  
  
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Inu Yasha looked down at the folded crumpled tear-stained parchment in his hand. All night he toiled in an attempt to  
put his true feelings on paper. All night he had meditated on all that had happened in his life, and all that seemed to come  
of it were a pair of coarse and painful tears running symmetrically down his cheeks. The dawn rose and ravaged the   
countryside and touched the tears, exposing his shame to the light of day. Making them sting, and bringing more tears of   
shame to join the ones already collecting upon his face.  
  
"Dammit..." he said softly to no one in particular. "Dammit...just...dammit..."   
  
He jumped down from his tree into a small river,the parchment still within the firm grasp of his fist. He sat down,   
not bothering to remove his clothing, and felt the cool soothing water, the only thing that had shown his sympathy so far. It  
reflected a rather crude but good-looking young man. Beautiful as only nature can be. His manner was abrupt, rough, cruel,   
like the bark of a tree, but when you backed away from him, and saw the whole picture, saw the whole tree, not just parts, he  
was quite breathtaking. Statuesque is a very animated sort of way.   
  
Eyes the color of sunlight,the color of hawks-eyes, so deep, and penetrating. Unique, and mesmerizing. Eyes people  
would've called soulfull if they had looked, if he hadn't been nothing. These eyes were offset by a soft silver-grey mane   
trailing past his shoulders and a pair of dog ears the same color. He was of good build and complexion, with pale, but rosy   
skin unmarred by wounds, though he had been in many fights, and was about average hight, perhaps a bit taller. Ashen white   
fangs and claws were his weapons of choice.  
  
"Waters..." Inu Yasha mumbled "waters...I thank you..." and as he got up to leave, a watery body clung to him. A   
watery woman body. A watery woman hugging him. A woman holding him close.  
  
"Kagome...Kikyo...Hisagin?" Inu Yasha begged.   
  
"No...shhhhh...I am Oki, a naiad, sister of Haru, the drayad of the tree in which you slept. Do not cry." said the  
woman of water, stroking his hair.   
"Do not fear, my strong one. Do not forget, my Dreamer..." She said softly and compassionately after he had stopped   
sobbing into her warm shoulder. She smiled a beautiful tragic and sincere smile, and was gone as suddenly as she had arrived,  
leaving Inu Yasha alone once more with nothing but the water on his face and the water he sat in for company.  
  
"I'm a dreamer...I dream my life away...I'm just a dreamer...who dreams of better days..." Inu Yasha whispered to   
the winds.   
  
"If only we could all just find serenity...it would be nice if we could live as one...when will all this anger,hate   
and bigotry ...be gone?"   
  
He eased himself up, afraid of further damaging or disturbing that part inside him that was broken. That part that   
hurt him more than a dull rock getting pounded into his chest could. He could not hide from that pain he felt, there was no  
solace. Sleep did no good. In fact, he found that the pain of not eating and not sleeping for weeks on end took the edge off.  
The only comfort was the ever-looming thought:  
  
"Maybe I'll die...maybe that will stop the memory...maybe it will stop the pain. Maybe it will be the end of me..."  
  
Inu Yasha ran as fast as he could. Ran away. Hoping the pain and misery wouldn't catch up.   
  
"Do not forget, my Dreamer......................"  
  
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*****I refuse to write ANYMORE until I get 10 POSITIVE reviews on chapter one "Insomniac's Dream"!*****  
Once I get 10 positive reviews, I will post the 2nd Chapter...to be titled " I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight"  
PLEASE! If you have comments or ideas for where my story should go send them in an e-mail to me, or in your review... I only   
  
  
have a few specific points and places this story needs to go...how we get to these places is your choice!  
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Whoa...that was short...and quite pretty...I made it this short to lure y'all in...! NEXT CHAPTER: MEANINGFUL LENGTHY   
WELL-WRITTEN FLUFFS-STUFFS!!!  
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Other notes:  
  
For you dummies...a naiad is a water nymph, and a dryad is a tree nymph... if you don't know what a nymph is I suggest doing  
the following things in numerical order:  
  
#1 Yelling really loud at your parents for not reading you stories with nymphs in them.  
#2 Go read some mythology, specifically GREEK  
#3 Buying a tackhammer and get Tommy to come back there and beat you upside the head with it.  
#4 Buy the movie "Tommy Boy" if you didn't get the above joke, or if you own it, watch it again!!!  
#5 Go buy some RPGs  
#6 Look it up.  
#7 Study Faerie history  
#8 Figure out what the above word IS!!!  
#9 STOP DISCRIMINATING AGAINST MY PEOPLE!!!  
#10 REVIEW MY WORKS!!!  
  
Other Other Notes:  
  
The names of Hisagin, Oki and Haru are all actual Japanese names...here's what they mean...:  
  
Oki= Middle Of The Ocean  
  
Haru= Born In Spring  
  
Hisagin= It's actually 2 words; Hisa and Gin. Hisa means long lasting and Gin is silver or silver-colored. So her name is  
roughly "long lasting silver"...then again, it probably doesn'ttranslate into that, cause' I suck!  
Also, don't feel bad if you're sitting there saying "Hisagin?!?! Who's she??? I don't remember her!!! Did I miss an   
episode?!?! Did someone not tell me something?!?!" I made her up...she'll come along sooner or later, because I really like   
the number 3!!!  
  
Also, also, I'd appreciate it if you review my other FINISHED story "Phantoms Of A Lost Tomorrow"...thankies!!!  
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"Dreamer"  
By Ozzy Osbourne  
  
Gazing through the window at the world outside/Wondering will mother earth survive/Hoping that mankind will stop abusing her sometime/  
After all there's only just the two of us/And here we are still fighting for our lives/Watching all of history repeat itself/Time after time  
  
I'm just a dreamer/I dream my life away/I'm just a dreamer/Who dreams of better days  
  
I watch the sun go down like everyone of us/I'm hoping that the dawn will bring a sign/A better place for those Who will come after us ...   
This time/  
  
I'm just a dreamer/I dream my life away oh yeah/I'm just a dreamer/Who dreams of better days  
  
Your higher power may be God or Jesus Christ/It doesn't really matter much to me/Without each others help there ain't no hope for us  
I'm living in a dream of fantasy/Oh yeah, yeah, yeah  
  
If only we could all just find serenity/It would be nice if we could live as one/When will all this anger, hate and biggotry ...   
Be gone?  
  
I'm just a dreamer/I dream my life away/Today/I'm just a dreamer/Who dreams of better days/Okay/I'm just a dreamer/  
Who's searching for the way/Today/I'm just a dreamer/Dreaming my life away/Oh yeah, yeah, yeah  
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*****I refuse to write ANYMORE until I get 10 POSITIVE reviews on chapter one "Insomniac's Dream"!*****  
Once I get 10 positive reviews, I will post the 2nd Chapter...to be titled " I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight"  
PLEASE! If you have comments or ideas for where my story should go send them in an e-mail to me, or in your review... I only   
  
  
have a few specific points and places this story needs to go...how we get to these places is your choice! 


	3. Somewhere Out There Revised

****I refuse to write ANYMORE until I get 10 POSITIVE reviews on this chapter*****  
  
Not because I need positive reinforcement...I am doing this for my own enjoyment...but I don't see the point in going through the trouble of posting  
and stuff if not a damned person is gonna read it and like it...there's no point. That's why I need the 10 positive reviews...  
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FOR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER:  
  
I'm sorry, I got one semi-complaint on this chapter, and I just HAD to go back and fix the whole damned thing! Read it if you want, the storyline  
has been almost entirely preserved, but a lot of dialogue has been changed/added. All in all, I just made the damn thing longer, and in my opinon  
a LOT better than what it was...if you liked it the first time, read it again! Hopefully it'll clarify any confusion my fragmented writing seemed to cause...  
  
Thanks!  
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:::  
  
Another apology::: I was punished for 2 weeks, then I got caught using the computer during that time, so I was then punished for another MONTH  
and then, when a project happened to be due, I tried to print a file and noticed that nothing worked...so...my laptop's been broken since I've been   
rounded...so nothing works goddammit! My Dad and 2 of his friends, 2 of my friends and my Grandfather [DO NOT EVEN WONDER ABOUT THAT!]  
have been trying to fix it for more than 3 weeks with NO RESULTS! Also, it's been hectic and in this time, I haven't been writing much...I decided   
to force myself to edit this chapter...  
  
  
  
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Thank you all with constructive comments! Like I said, I couldn't reply to your reviews to thank you, but I WAS able to at least read them [courtesy  
of another friend's computer].   
  
It seems...fragmented [for those of you who noticed] because I wrote the first part one night...and the second came very painfully...about a week   
later...at 2 am...I just typed it out of the blue and posted, never bothering to check it over...[the part I'm talking about is the part when Kikyo starts   
quoting "High Fidelity"...]  
PLEASE! If you have comments or ideas for where my story should go send them in an e-mail to me, or in your review... I only have a few   
specific points and places this story needs to go...how we get to these places is your choice!  
  
  
  
MY APPOLOGIES!!!  
PLEASE FEED ME!   
[Holds up sign labeled "VERMONT OR BUST!!!" blinks, looks anxiously about and flips it over so it reads: "WILL WRITE FOR FOOD!!!"]  
  
  
  
Seriously, though:  
  
"HEHEHE! HEY KIDS! IT'S STORYTIME!!!"  
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Thank you for being just what you are...  
And no more...  
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Inu Yasha ran as fast as he could. Just ran, as the naiad's words rang through his head:  
  
"Do not forget, my Dreamer......................"  
  
And the worst part was that Inuyasha knew what she didn't want him to forget. He knew. He wanted to forget it. And she had   
made him remember...  
  
So he ran...   
  
Ran on and on through the countryside of feudal Japan. Not caring where he was going...just trying to forget.  
Forget.  
  
Forget it all...  
  
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A/N:FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK...and only you and me know it so shhh! Don't tell Inu! He doesn't know!  
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She was beauty. Pure beauty. Calm and fluid, like a placid lake. Like an ocean. Cool and under control, nuturing and   
life-giving one moment, and in the next moment, she could drown everything in a torrent of rage. A deadly torrent. This was  
Kikyo, priestess of the Shikon no Tama; The Jewel Of Four Souls; The Sacred Jewel. A jewel which had the power to make any  
demon, man or beast far stronger than it truly was. A jewel able to change a half demon into a whole demon...or a whole   
human. The power to make Inuyasha belong...  
  
  
But now that he had this angel, Kikyo, he wasn't alone. He belonged. He belonged to her, and she to him, and he didn't  
want the Shikon jewel. The only thing he wanted was her. She was his breath, his life-giving water. Without her there was no  
reason to Live...but she didn't know how he felt. She didn't know she meant not only the World to Inu, but Heaven and Hell too.  
She didn't know anything about the intense storm of feelings she inspired within him.   
  
  
And even now as she looked to the night sky Inuyasha couldn't help but love her. The stars above shed their light   
playfully across her cheeks and lit up her heartwarming smile.   
  
"Never before have I seen the stars so bright and clear"   
Kikyo gasped with an amazed look like that of an astounded child while her wide eyes filled with the ethereal lights above the couple,   
and it seemed as if the Heavens had been made for her, and her alone, as a tribute to the infinate glory of her being.   
Inuyasha nearly froze then at the sight and his heart felt as if he had the body of a four hundred pound old man. Inuyasha had come here for a   
reason, but he was so in awe by the woman before him, he could do naught but stare at her with as much wonderment as she had for the   
stars in the sky. She chose that very moment to turn to him with a...  
  
"a look that could've easily been confused for one of adoration" Inuyasha thought to himself bitterly, "if I were only an ounce more of a blindly   
lovesick fool! I probably have something on my face...or maybe she's finally realized how hideous I am..." his ears drooped. Her eyes began to fill  
with tears that had been held back for an indescribable amount of time, but those tears didn't drop. Yet.   
"Inu-kun" she said suddenly and grabbed him by the shoulders. Her head rested upon his chest, and Inuyasha could hear  
her quiet sobbing and feel her sweet tears soak through his shirt. Without thinking he rested his face in her ebony hair   
and began to sing a sweet tune.   
"Never knew, I could feel like this,  
Like I've never seen the sky before  
Want to vanish inside your kiss,  
Everyday I love you, more and more.  
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?  
Telling me to give you everything...  
Seasons may change, Winter to Spring,  
But I love you, until my dying day..."  
  
  
And her heavenly tear stained face rose from his chest to look at him. Her eyes seemed overcome with that feeling, that expression that   
Inuyasha wouldn't allow himself to mistake for adoration...or...Love. And, again, without thinking he leaned in to kiss her, and she met his lips without   
any resistance. In fact, she took his lips rather hungrily, as if all she had ever wanted was this. As if she needed him as much as he needed her,   
which Inu just couldn't accept. It was impossible!  
  
  
"Nobody would ever love a mutt like me," he thought. "and just look what I've done! I've taken my obsession to a new  
level! I forced myself upon her..." broke the dangerously sweet kiss, rose to his feet and began to walk down the hill.  
"Just walk! Walk away you useless bastard! Leave her here and never, ever bother her again...she doesn't deserve that   
burden! If you can't control your own actions, then who can protect her?!?! Who can save her from you...?" He kept thinking,  
"Leave her forever and do her a favor...and never again stare into those orbs of darkened light...those beautiful...DAMN IT! WALK YOU WORTHLESS  
MASS OF NOTHING!" and he began to walk faster as he fought against himself inside his own mind.  
"Inuyasha!" she cried out before he had gotten more than ten feet away from her.   
"Don't leave me!" she choked out through a flood of new tears that made Inuyasha stop and want to run around and grab her in his arms.   
  
  
"Don't leave me now.Not now. Not ever." she repeated softly. "I need you. Come back to me...please."  
  
"Kikyo...I couldn't..." Inuyasha replied turning around, but still standing his ground.  
  
"Inuyasha...I can't be alone right now..."  
  
"I won't leave you...I'll be at the foot of the hill...guarding you..."  
  
"That's...not...it...I'm...I'm so afraid. For once, all the tragedy... the hardship... all that I've ever seen... All the evil I've committed...it all  
has come crashing down on me. It's like I'm trapped, and disoriented. And Alone. I can't tell what's up or down, what's black or white anymore.  
I feel so lost, Inuyasha...like all I've known...all I've been... just...went away. And I'm left with nothing. I just want to feel safe in my own skin! I just  
want to be happy again! I don't want to feel deep in my own world! Do you understand? But...I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself  
anymore...but then there's you...and...all I want is to be near you...with you...It's like you make all that vanish."  
  
Inuyasha shrugged and turned away, though the words she had said made his soul rejoice.  
  
"Inuyasha...why can't we be together..."  
  
"Do you really want to know why...?" Inuyasha asked meekly, turning to face her once more.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"It's because I don't trust myself with you."  
  
"I trust you."   
  
"That's not all there is to it though!"  
  
"It isn't? Well, then, tell me, what else is there?"  
  
Inuyasha rushed back up the hill, stopped three inches from Kikyo's face and knelt, refusing to make eye contact  
with her. He gulped once, twice and tried to gather the words he came here to say and found that he had just about lost every single one. He  
gathered all his strength and courage and innermost feelings and decided to wing it, though he cursed himself under his breath during every moment  
of it all.  
  
  
"Priestess. I brought you here to pledge my life to your cause. To pledge my life to you. I will give you all I can.  
I cannot bear to see you unhappy and I will do whatever I must to keep you happy and safe...and I..."  
  
  
"Inu...yasha..." Kikyo murmured.  
  
  
"I...I want you to know I would give you all I can give, but I don't have much...I don't have much to give you. All I  
have is my heart. All...I can give you is my love...But that'd be like giving you Beauty, if it were mine to give, it's futile, because you already   
posess it. But, I give it to you regardless...Lady Kikyo I love you..."   
And his amber eyes so injured and full of shame looked up into her own murky depths, searching for something... Understanding, Forgiveness,   
he didn't know what. All he saw was her sadness.  
  
"This is wrong...I shouldn't...do this, but, Ki, I'm too tired not to be with you...I'm too weak to hide it any longer..."  
  
  
"Inuyasha...the only thing that could possibly make me happy is you. Never leave me..."   
  
  
And again, that sadness rising up from the blurry seas of teary eyes found an answering twang from the depths of  
Inuyasha's chest. A place man would define, "the heart". A place lovers could not define. A place that created a feeling  
a lover could never forget. This pang came from a place infinately more than the heart. It came from a place that Science and  
Words could never understand or locate.  
  
"The sadness," he stated boldly, "never do I want to see the likes of it again. Never do I want sorrow to rise up  
in your heart when you see me. Never do I wish to cause you grief."  
He moved again to kiss her, to kiss her for as long as he possibly could without suffocating, and it seemed that she  
wanted the same. His hands moved over her dark tresses while he kissed her, feeling the soft strands and smelling the sweet  
smells of the herbs that he had come to identify with Kikyo. When he finally broke the kiss, he found himself entwined in  
the feather-soft limbs of the sorrowful priestess and answered her embrace with a gentle one of his own.  
  
  
She then took her graceful hands and began to rub his body, as one would scratch a good dog. A VERY good dog...first  
starting with his ears in an odd circular rhythm that varied with each individual finger. Inu, acting as any good dog would, was enjoying this thoroughly.  
Then slowly, and subtly, her hands worked their way down, and Inuyasha, so drunk in the pleasure of it all didn't notice when Kikyo's deft fingers   
removed his tunic. All he noticed was the beatiful swan-like creature before him, that is, until she began to remove his pants...  
  
  
"Ki-Ki-Kikyo...what are you doing?!?!"   
Inuyasha fairly stammered as his bright scarlet blood shone through a skin that appeared to be transparent. His face now the color of a stop sign or   
red traffic light. Inuyasha, for all his toughness and manliness, was still...a virgin. Sad, sad truth of it was, that even though he had been an outsider   
to both humans and demons, there were those of either persuasion who had always tried to...get...frisky... with him, since he wasn't at all bad looking  
or particularly weak. In fact he would've been a good catch for a village girl or weak demoness, but the trick was catching him. He didn't want to   
be caught. He didn't really ever see the point in it all...until now...  
  
Noting his hesitation, Kikyo ceased her rubbing and took his hand, and just waited. She waited patiently for minutes. Many minutes.   
Too many. Kikyo let out a surpressed whimper. Her eyes begged him to do it. They filled with tears again, which she pushed away sucessfully.  
  
"Kikyo, what's wrong...?" he asked dreading her answer, but knowing he had no choice but to ask.  
  
"Inu...you know how I'm feeling right now. I've told you, and I'm sure you've been through it yourself, several times..."   
  
Inuyasha nodded.  
  
"And...what I'm going to say is going to...sound...just...listen, Inuyasha, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else.  
Something other than this emptiness. I want to be filled by something...someone...you...It's either that, or I   
go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub torches out on my arm." Kikyo confronted his confusion and   
hesitation head on.  
  
"No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later." Inuyasha replied, trying to hide the panic raging inside him, almost stronger  
than his Love for her. Almost stronger than his wish to do her will and see her happy. Almost, but not quite.  
  
  
Kikyo kissed his brow once more and whispered sweetly in his ear the best words Inuyasha had heard- besides "Kikyo" and "I love you"  
-   
"Don't be afraid".   
  
And it was as if with that statement his fears really were banished to some unreachable place by this strong Asian goddess. Strong and   
beautiful...and removing her robes.  
  
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Inuyasha laid barenaked on the grass next to Kikyo, who was far more beautiful naked than she was fully clothed and   
adorned. Then again, she was never unadorned, since it seemed that all of nature fitted itself to suit her. The soft cool green grass a fitting carpet  
for the events that had unfolded...  
They had done it twice. The first time was clumsy, if anything in conjuction with such a woman woman could be, and hurried, but extremely   
enjoyable nonetheless, and surprisingly unstartling. Not frightening at all... The second time had been far better, though, since Inuyasha had shed his   
inexpirience and bashfulness. Also, the frenzied urgency that seemed to drive both of them the first time was virtually gone, so the second expirience   
was far far slower and intimate. Far more...divine.  
After it was done, Kikyo got up and began to run like a little girl naked through the forests with Inuyasha chasing  
her. The night's music comforted and cradled them and the dark was like a giant warm blanket. A blanket they had made love under. They laughed   
so hard and felt so much joy, neither one could think of much else besides that moment and the one who was sharing it with them. Inuyasha learned  
one thing from that;   
If ever an angel should appear on the Earth, ask her, without haste, to remove her clothing and run in the woods. No matter what the punishment   
that follows, it will always be worth it...  
When Kikyo had tired, Inuyasha gathered her up into his arms and carried her back to the starry hill that displayed a sky beginning to turn   
a ruddy purple color. They cuddled up next to one another under the cover of Inuyasha's cloak, though they didn't need it. Kikyo curled up like a   
small child sleeping next to her favorite dog. Inuyasha.   
  
  
"Tomorrow, Inuyasha, I will bring the jewel to you, and we will be able to live like this the rest of our lives." Kikyo sighed.  
"Tomorrow? Won't you be tired? And sore?" Inuyasha joked, although rather sincerely.  
"Heh. I'm not tired yet. Do you want proof" She replied quickly, forcing herself out of her daze.  
"Not now, Kikyo. I've had enough... I'm only half demon, you know. Tomorrow, then."  
  
  
"I thought you said you could never have enough!" she giggled  
  
  
"That's true...but...anymore, and I'm afraid it'll fall off! I'm sore..."  
  
  
"Shhh...alright. Are you okay...?" Kikyo asked of his pain.  
  
  
"Yeah, just...not used to it...the pain's worth it, angel. I can handle it. I intend to pay you back in full tomorrow!" he laughed.  
  
  
"Yes, tomorrow. Inu-kun, I love you."  
"I love you too, my goddess, Kikyo. Please rest, I couldn't bear it to see you tired next morn'..."  
"Very well..." Kikyo sighed, moving closer into the circle of his arms, so that there was barely a centimeter of space between their two   
bodies. Her heavy-lidded eyes turned to his, for once, full of happiness. Happiness that Inuyasha would see only once, besides in his very own   
dreams. Neither one knew it, but the first would also be the last.   
  
"Sing me a song, like the one you sang earlier" she said, and fell asleep almost as soon as she felt the strong deep  
vibrations rise to the air from Inuyasha's throat. He began to hum another unknown tune that came from what he was sure was a   
higher power than any he had ever encountered. [A/N: Of course, those mystical powers COULD have been a local FM station...certain pagan   
religions have been know to worship them...(lol...)]  
"Last time I talked to you  
You were lonely and out of place  
You were looking down on me  
Lost out in space"  
And an almost supernatural sound, another man's voice and an odd music filled the air around Inuyasha, getting louder and louder.  
"We laid underneath the stars  
Strung out and feeling brave  
I watched the red orange glow  
I watched you float away"  
*********************************************************************  
  
Inuyasha closed his eyes, and opened them again, to see Kikyo laying in his arms just as she was. But they were not   
on the hill, and there were no stars above them. It was a white spackled ceiling, with a few water stains, and cracks in it. The two lovers lay in a   
messy unmade bed with blue and yellow sheets decorated with a flower print. And the woman next to him was not Kikyo.   
  
An FM alarm clock radio echoed out:  
"Down here in the atmosphere  
Garbage and city lights  
You've gone to save your tired soul  
You've gone to save our lives  
I turned on the radio  
To find you on satellite  
I'm waiting for this sky to fall  
I'm waiting for a sign  
All we are  
Is all so far"  
The new "Our Lady Peace" song, Inuyasha remembered but still didn't remember where he was, or how he had gotten here.  
"You're falling back to me  
You're a star that I can see  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling out of reach  
Defying gravity  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
Hope you remember me  
When you're home sick   
and need a change  
I miss your purple hair  
I miss the way you taste  
I know you'll come back someday  
On a bed of nails I'll wait  
I'm praying that you don't burn out  
Or fade away  
All we are  
Is all so far"  
And he remembered. The girl next to him was Kagome.   
  
  
"Kagome..." Inuyasha said breathlessly. Like Kikyo, but, younger. Happier. Or so she would have you think...   
  
Upon hearing her name and being startled by the peak volume of the song, the girl woke.  
  
  
"What's wrong Inu-kun? You look...startled."  
  
  
Startled he was, but he managed to wipe the expression off his face, stop staring at this twin of Kikyo, turn around and walk briskly down   
the hall, finding solace in the words he sang that reverberated off the beige walls of the hallway in the small and cheap apartment he now found   
himself in. As he walked he tried to understand, what had happened to Kikyo. Why he was here, how   
he'd found that girl. What did she mean to him? What had happened last night? Was...it as good as it was with Kikyo...? He wished the music   
could be his anesthesia, but it wasn't.   
His drug was a woman...or perhaps two...  
He sang anyway;  
"You're falling back to me  
You're a star that I can see  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling out of reach  
Defying gravity  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling back to me  
You're a star that I can see  
I know you're out there  
You're falling out of reach  
Defying gravity  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling back to me  
You're a star that I can see  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling out of reach  
Defying gravity  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling back to me  
I know  
I know  
You're falling out of reach  
I know....................."  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Notes: THAT WAS SO FUN!!! But it was so frikken hard! I've never really even WRITTEN fluff for anything public...so...it's been...interesting...  
and very enjoyable...I have yet to write erotica...and I figured I MAY scare some old reviewers away with anything hardcore, so I kept it PRETTY   
tame...e-mail me requesting erotica, and I'll try it!  
  
anyways: It's been soooo long since I've been with ANYONE, least of all a guy, so I had a BIT of trouble finding inspiration for this fluff...! This   
resulted in this taking over a week to write, and me begging anyone I knew to revise it... I think it came out decently though...  
****I refuse to write ANYMORE until I get 10 POSITIVE reviews on this chapter*****  
Once I get 10 positive reviews, I will post the 3rd Chapter...to be titled " I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" [or maybe not...the story has  
changed A LOT since I first planned it out, but I will DEFINATELY USE THE SONG SOMETIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!]  
PLEASE! If you have comments or ideas for where my story should go send them in an e-mail to me, or in your review... I only have a few   
specific points and places this story needs to go...how we get to these places is your choice!  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Copyright stuff:::  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
'"Inuyasha...why can't we be together..."  
  
"Do you really want to know why...?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"It's because I don't trust myself with you."'  
This was pretty much taken directly from the script of the movie "Cruel Intentions". Expect to see me use more quotes from   
that movie later on. IT KICKS MAJOR ASS!!! THAT'S WHY!!!  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
'"This is wrong...I shouldn't...do this, but, Ki, I'm too tired not to be with you...I'm too weak to hide it any longer..."'  
  
&  
  
'"...listen, Inuyasha, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else.  
Something other than this emptiness. I want to be filled by something...someone...you...It's either that, or I   
go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub torches out on my arm."  
  
"No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later."'  
Both of these quotes are loosely based on ones from the movie "High Fidelity". Good movie. I loved these quotes so much! I JUST HAD TO USE  
THEM! Originally, I used the real quotes, almost word for word, but they seemed a bit out of place [hey, the movie's about a man who owns a  
record store and his girlfriend! GIVE ME A BREAK! It was HARD AS HELL to make em fit AT ALL!]  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
When Kikyo says:  
  
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin! I just want to be happy again! I don't want to feel deep in my own world! Do you understand?   
But...I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore..."  
  
I was using a Dido song I'm sure NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER HEARD OF! It's called "Honestly OK" It goes like this...:  
  
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again,  
I just want to feel safe in my own world,  
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
On a different day, if I was safe in my own skin, then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened  
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin,  
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore  
I just want to feel safe in my skin, I just want to feel happy again."  
  
Yes, I know. You all hate Dido. I LOVE Dido! And this song just fit so...too bad!  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
The first song Inu sings is from Moulin Rouge and is called "Come What May"...Can't find the lyrics, or song info...that info  
will, however be forthcoming. Maybe. If you close your eyes and think happy thoughts...  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
The second song is called "Somewhere Out There" [if memory serves me correctly] and is, as mentioned, sung by Our Lady Peace  
[good band, sucky name]  
  
Lyrics are as follows:  
"Last time I talked to you  
You were lonely and out of place  
You were looking down on me  
Lost out in space  
We laid underneath the stars  
Strung out and feeling brave  
I watched the red orange glow  
I watched you float away  
Down here in the atmosphere  
Garbage and city lights  
You've gone to save your tired soul  
You've gone to save our lives  
I turned on the radio  
To find you on satellite  
I'm waiting for this sky to fall  
I'm waiting for a sign  
All we are  
Is all so far  
  
You're falling back to me  
You're a star that I can see  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling out of reach  
Defying gravity  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
Hope you remember me  
When you're home sick   
and need a change  
I miss your purple hair  
I miss the way you taste  
I know you'll come back someday  
On a bed of nails I'll wait  
I'm praying that you don't burn out  
Or fade away  
All we are  
Is all so far  
You're falling back to me  
You're a star that I can see  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling out of reach  
Defying gravity  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling back to me  
You're a star that I can see  
I know you're out there  
You're falling out of reach  
Defying gravity  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling back to me  
You're a star that I can see  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling out of reach  
Defying gravity  
I know you're out there  
Somewhere out there  
You're falling back to me  
I know  
I know  
You're falling out of reach  
I know"  
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REVIEW! 


	4. Minichapter: Fragments

Thank You For All I've Lost  
Mini-Chapter 3A: Fragments  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Thank you for being just what you are...  
And no more,  
For not exposing, but nursing my unhealed scar...  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"I know..."   
Inu whispered to himself. He approached a wooden door covered in little scratches and divets that seemed familiar. He   
grasped the knob with his hand, turned and walked through the now open doorway.  
  
  
  
"It's so funny," he thought, "it's so familiar, so ordinary to do this. Like it's an everyday routine, but I don't   
remember....like I've posessed some other poor guy..."  
He felt like a soul fragmented...  
He stepped in to find an oddly shaped avacado colored ceramic bowl attached to the floor, and a giant vat that  
appeared to be made of the same shiny green clay as the pot.   
  
  
"A shower and toilet..." his mind decided after a moment.   
  
  
Inu let go of his senses and thoughts, and retreated into the deep and mysterious recesses of his head, leaving   
the body's instincts on "autopilot", if you will.   
He removed the red robe that had mysteriously appeared on his body sometime between him waking up and the current   
moment. He didn't remember putting it on. He then moved on to the white short sleeved thing he faintly remembered as   
"a t-shirt, made of cotton", pulling it over his head effortlessly, despite the fact that he barely had the faintest notion   
as to what it was. He stepped out of the black garments (or was it only one? he wasn't sure...) that covered his legs.   
Like a pair of leggings or pants, almost. But shorter, and looser than leggings. His mind searched for the word of these   
garments until coming across one that sounded almost right...:  
"...boxers...fyeh..."   
and he took his hand, reached into the shower and jerked the knob, and stepping in immediately, not testing the   
temperature of the water. He remembered he should, he understood what'd happen if he didn't. But he didn't care.  
  
  
  
  
******************************************************  
The water rushed out of the showerhead like so many little raindrops, and yet not like raindrops at all. They were  
so much faster, and uglier. They didn't give life, these raindrops had no purpose. Yet down they rushed in a dizzying   
torrent, hitting the slope of his shoulders and his body and becoming part of a giant watery whole. Stinging and reminding,  
worthless. These little drops of water were at his beck and call. Fools.   
Still, he had no clue what was going on, and he believed he deserved an explaination. Where was he? Who is this  
mysterious girl? Where is Kikyo? Is she okay? Is she worried? Why was he here?  
"...Ki..." he said lowering his head and closing his eyes. "Kikyo..."  
Who knows how long he'd been here. Who knows where here is and if he can ever get back. What if Kikyo was hurt, what if   
she was worrying, what if something had happened...  
No, he wouldn't settle for this. Not at all. So he did what almost every male character did when suddenly abandoned on  
a foreign world;  
  
He leaned his head back and yelled as loud as he possibly could for as long as he could with every fiber of his  
being, demanding his questions be answered. It always worked.   
Inuyasha opened his eyes and raised his head so that he could resume normal posture. Nothing had happened. Nothing  
at all...except...  
  
Next to him stood another Inuyasha. A taller Inuyasha, with long hair tied back with a piece of twine. An Inuyasha  
as naked as he was. But it slowly dawned on him...there were two Inuyashas.   
  
  
  
"Two..." he said amazed.  
  
"A soul fragmented..." the other whispered.  
  
"What do you mean!?!?"   
The second Inuyasha smiled rather sadly, like a man who knew all the answers, and then spoke rather poetically;  
  
  
  
"Hold my thoughts, I'm at an impasse,  
Past the place I passed before,  
The sweeper's sweeping fragments  
Of my head out the door..."  
  
"I don't understand! Who are you! No! Don't look at me like that! I demand an answer!!!"  
  
"And the ice it burns upon my forehead,  
The Calmness starts to scream,  
Must I always hold the upright,  
When my soul longs to dream..."   
  
and the twin Inuyasha shook his head sadly. He had begun to cry,   
  
"Eventually it will all make sense. When that time comes you will know it is too late. You can't wait around to   
ask questions, you've got to charge on in, throw caution to the wind."  
"What the HELL are you talking about!?!? Stop talking in riddles!!! D'ya hear me?!?! HELLO?!?!"  
  
The other Inuyasha shrugged in a melancholy way and returned to his singing. It was a rather pretty song once you  
listened to it for a moment;  
  
"Is it too much to find an answer?  
Is it too much to hold you close?  
Is it too much to find a reason?  
Is it too much to free my soul,  
From self control?  
  
I can't get it any better,  
I always end up killing time.  
Time for Love and time for living,  
Time to find what's really Mine..."  
And then it was as if all of Inu's senses had been turned up. Like the sights and sounds had been enhanced. Like  
the phantom Inuyasha's song was suddenly in surround sound. The world around Inu and the air was filled with vibrations   
that hit with the force of an earthquake. And the words, the words that were eerily close to the feelings he felt deep in  
his chest, echoed and reverberated freely in every crevace of Inu's brain like children in a great hall. And the words he  
heard next sounded awfully familiar. As if he had heard then in another time and another place...:   
  
  
  
  
  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
AHA! This is a new invention...a mini chapter...it comes in two halves...and leaves you all in suspense!!!   
Actually, it just a short chunk of fic that doesn't really fit in anywhere...  
Be on the lookout for chapter 3, "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight"...  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Copyright stuff:::  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
The song sung by the second Inuyasha is called "Fragments" and is by the band Vertical Horizon. Kewl lyrics huh?  
  
Lyrics will be coming in the next chapter, coz I'm so lazy!!!  
Li  
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REVIEW! 


	5. Why?

Thank You For All I've Lost  
  
Chapter 3: I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Thank you for being just what you are,  
  
And no more,  
  
For not exposing, but nursing my unhealed scar,  
  
Thanks for being a reason to live for...  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Flashbacking-ness!  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"Is it too much to find an answer?  
  
Is it too much to hold you close?  
  
Is it too much to find a reason?  
  
Is it too much to free my soul,  
  
From self control?  
  
.  
  
I can't get it any better,  
  
I always end up killing time.  
  
Time for Love and time for living,  
  
Time to find what's really Mine..."   
  
.  
  
Inuyasha sang. It seemed that on this night she never would tire of hearing his voice.   
  
But this song, this song was different. He wasn't just singing it for the sake of a pretty little   
  
melody to ease the nerves of his lover. He was telling her the true depths of his soul, and   
  
asking her for answers he needed with every part of his being. With every speck of life   
  
within his body, and every truth in his soul, he needed her to know.  
  
.  
  
"I know you're always waiting for me. You take me far away, and I know you're holding me..."   
  
Kikyo said wistfully into Inu's soul. They were like two children playing with those flashlights in   
  
houses opposite each other, flicking them on and off, just to know someone's there...  
  
.  
  
"And it's better now?" he asked concerned.  
  
.  
  
"Yes, it's better now..." she replied rubbing his ears playfully.  
  
.  
  
"It's better now," he grinned back, "I'm glad..."  
  
.  
  
And now there were just a few precious minutes before the both of them would need to   
  
get up and get dressed, and they could not let go of each other. But they had to.   
  
.  
  
They had to let go and deny all of what had happened. They had to forget. Sure, both of   
  
them knew that after tonight they would be free the rest of their lives. But it was like denying and   
  
disowning everything you are; A lot of people do it, but few really enjoy it. The two lovers knew,   
  
but refused to accept it.  
  
.  
  
The first night together wouldn't be the last...  
  
.  
  
but Inuyasha couldn't help but think..."what if it was...?"  
  
.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by those of Kikyo, spoken aloud;  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"Inuyasha, this is what we have been waiting for! This is what it will all come down   
  
to, everything will be decided here and now! I will get the Shikon No Tama, with it you will be   
  
made human...and..."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"Are you sure? Are you sure that's what you want? I mean...I'm sure we could..."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"Inu...kun..." she said, caressing his face, "I can't live my life under the thumb of some  
  
greater power. I can't spend my entire life looking worriedly around the corner, waiting for someone  
  
to get me. I don't want to spend my life fighting to keep what I love safe...I can't keep it up. Eventually,  
  
I will break. I will break, and I will die. That isn't how people are meant to live...That isn't living at all..."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"But I'm sure...we could just...we could just run away, Ki. We could just leave it all behind..."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"and do what Inuyasha?!?! Watch as the world crumbles to ruin before my very eyes? I  
  
am not the sort to do that. It isn't right to turn your back on the entire world for a moment of selfish  
  
happiness! I am not a coward!"  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"No.No, you're not a coward. " Inuyasha consoled, touching her hair. "Still...isn't it too soon...?  
  
Shouldn't we wait a bit? Just a little while to..."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
" Inuyasha! You can't wait around to ask questions, you've got to charge on in, throw caution   
  
to the wind..."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
She embraced him once more, and got up, leaving Inu with the feeling that he had somehow   
  
driven her away. Like by being himself, by opening up and worrying just a little about her, he had somehow  
  
become unworthy in her eyes. Like his fear made him less of a man. It was normal to be afraid, it was okay  
  
to show weakness every once and awhile. After all she had done the same last night, and he had comforted  
  
her and held her close. Why was this any different?   
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
...and there was a bitter acidic pain in the back of his throat...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
He watched as she replaced her clothing, awed as ever. Once again she had become a different   
  
woman. This woman she had become, it reminded him of...what exactly? Her change was so very unique,  
  
but familiar. It was like his mother, if she had no maternal instincts towards him. No Love. Just Cold. Cold,  
  
and statuesque. He felt like Pygmalion in the old myths, trying to love a woman made of stone and ivory,   
  
trying to make her real...   
  
.  
  
He rose to bid her farewell. To kiss her back to life, out of her ivory shell, but he was met with  
  
nothing. No Love. It was worse than kissing a statue, for a statue had never lived, but may one day live.  
  
No, this was like kissing a corpse, because she was once alive with Love, but now she was dead, and  
  
would never live again. Her eyes held barely a spark of what she had once been, they spoke what she,  
  
herself, could not;  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"This is a part of it, but I wish I could make it not..."  
  
.  
  
.  
  
Perhaps it was all a ruse. Maybe, tomorrow, once they had the jewel it would be fine.  
  
Things would be back to normal, and this incident would be gone from his mind. Long forgotten.   
  
Maybe there would be no doubting and they would spend the rest of their lives together in peace   
  
and happiness. Maybe they would never have to worry. Never feel pain. Or hatred. Maybe they could  
  
find what the World seemed to be missing a lot lately. They could be happy. He could be happy with  
  
Kikyo, and she with him.   
  
.  
  
.  
  
But Inuyasha wasn't a believer, wasn't an optimist. He had had that beaten out of him.   
  
Instead, he was a pessimist and chronic doubter. He had to be, if he wanted to survive...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
He watched Kikyo descend the hill and walk off in the direction of the village. After her  
  
silhoutte had dissapeared from the horizon, Inuyasha shrugged on his own rather worn and dirty  
  
clothing and dashed off to the forest near the village. To wait...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
...Dreading...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
hours later, but shush!  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
.  
  
.  
  
Kikyo chased him through the forest yelling his name. According to plan.   
  
.  
  
.  
  
...too according to plan...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"Do you worry that you're not liked  
  
how long till you break  
  
you're happy cause you smile  
  
but how much can you fake  
  
an ordinary boy an ordinary name  
  
but ordinary's just not good enough today..."   
  
.  
  
.  
  
Inuyasha hummed to Kikyo's frantic howls of what sounded like pain.   
  
Like the screams of a betrayed woman. But Kikyo wasn't a woman,was she? No.   
  
She was an ivory bitch who honestly deserved to die. Cold as stone. Heart as cold   
  
as ice.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"She didn't love me, she never loved me! It was all a lie! All of it was a lie,   
  
to get me weak and alone. To break down my defenses. To get inside my head so she could bring me  
  
down. All of it was for this moment,"   
  
Inuyasha bitterly thought.   
  
.  
  
He bet his hatred was counterpointing her own.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"alone I'm thinking  
  
why is superman dead  
  
is it in my head  
  
we'll just laugh instead  
  
you worry about the weather and  
  
whether or not you should hate  
  
.  
  
are you worried about your faith  
  
kneel down and obey   
  
you're happy you're in love  
  
you need someone to hate  
  
an ordinary girl, an ordinary waist  
  
but ordinary's just not good enough today"   
  
.  
  
He gasped. And stopped.   
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
...Why fight it? Didn't he want to die?   
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
Didn't he want to end this unfathomable sorrow, this incomprehensable loneliness?  
  
.  
  
.  
  
Breath was life, life was breath. If he stopped breathing...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
The pulse under the skin would stop, it would be let free...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
The pecking bird imprisoned inside the cage of bones could fly away...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
The oceans of swirling blood, virtual life, would cease their churning and smashing against the   
  
shores of his skin...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
But every time, something held him back. Chains. Chains of glass and barbed rusty  
  
tin dug into his skin, hurting him more than death would. Keeping him away. Away from a field.  
  
A field of butterflies, blazing with fiery light of every color, so many butterflies that it was hard to  
  
tell what was burning, the wings, or the field. Tough to see where the butterflies even ended...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
But the time of butterflies and sun and warmth were gone...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
Now all he had left was a woman who wanted him dead. A woman who would see him  
  
dead, see him in hell. Drag him down and ruin her innocence if need be...  
  
.  
  
No, there was no innocence there. It was just a husk. A tearstained husk of a human.  
  
Even Inuyasha, half breed demon that he was, was more human than she would ever be...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
And still he rejoiced at her tears. Inside his head he laughed at her misery, her misfortune.  
  
He may just have laughed to prove that he was mad, it was hard to be sure. He filled with mirth as she   
  
pulled the bowstring tight.   
  
.  
  
He became elated, he could see the butterflies looming closer now. Perhaps they weren't   
  
even butterflies...perhaps they were flaming clouds. Clouds of the Apocalypse, signaling the End.   
  
.  
  
His End.   
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
...maybe they were Hope...   
  
.  
  
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A Hope that not all was lost. That his love would save him, save her. Save the world. A   
  
Hope that swore true loves could never die, never even begin to fade or fray. A silent wish that she   
  
would see what he did, see past the hate and the lies. See past desperation. See past sadness.   
  
See past tears. See past her own needs and desires. A wish that she would see what was important,  
  
what Life was all about. A wish that she would see Love.   
  
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...and as the bow was released, and the string relaxed, the arrow flew. He kept hoping. Kept chasing the butterflies.   
  
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...and his hopes and his dreams and his wish for her were shot down...  
  
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...shot down when he was.  
  
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___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Copyright stuff:::  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
The myth of Pygmalion as previously mentioned came from the Greeks. I don't own it. Below  
  
is a link to the complete myth:   
  
http://www.dl.ket.org/latin1/mythology/3fables/love/pygmalion.htm  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"This is a part of it, but I wish I could make it not..."  
  
Was taken from a stunning beach scene from the book "Echo" by Lia Francesca Block...it's an excellent book,  
  
please check it out!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I used the songs:  
  
Superman's Dead  
  
By Our Lady Peace  
  
complete lyrics can be found here:  
  
http://www.ourladypeace.cc/lyrics-clumsy.htm#01%20-%20Supermans's%20Dead  
  
Fragments  
  
By Vertical Horizon  
  
complete lyrics can be found on:  
  
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/verticalhorizon/fragments.html  
  
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REVIEW! 


	6. Deny

Asylum: Thank You For All That I Have Lost  
  
Chapter 4:   
  
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Inu woke dizzily, his head pounding. A sharp pain racked his body.   
  
.  
  
.  
  
And there was a hole where his heart should've been...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
And he remembered. Remembered the look on her face, as she shot the arrow. It was  
  
as if he were nothing more than a weak foe, the way she looked at him. No pity. It was  
  
as if he were just a worthless trophy to her. A beast to hang on the wall. Worthless.   
  
.  
  
.  
  
"Today I woke up and you were gone   
  
The whole day wondering what I did wrong   
  
It's like I'm falling from a mountaintop   
  
My heart keeps pounding and it won't stop"  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
And he remember the night before, and how sweet it had been...  
  
and now she tricked him.  
  
.  
  
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"Can you see this hell I'm living   
  
I'm not giving up   
  
Will you crawl to me   
  
Will you fall with me   
  
I'll never crawl to you   
  
I've done it all for you"  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
How could all that have changed? The days they had spent together,  
  
their deep friendship over all those months. The friendship that had turned into a  
  
secret love. A love that had been thrice consummated. How could that mean  
  
nothing?!?! How could she have jeopordized that, lost and not felt an ounce of  
  
compassion. Not a glimmer of love.   
  
The bitch had simply shot him.   
  
.  
  
.  
  
"Well don't deny   
  
The hand that feeds you needs you   
  
Oh god I'd die to try to   
  
Finally please you   
  
There goes a piece of me   
  
Will I cease to be   
  
I've never lied to you   
  
Fought bled and died for you   
  
Well don't deny   
  
The hand that takes you breaks you   
  
Oh god I'd die to try to   
  
Finally please you"  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
He didn't know what to think. He was a soul divided. A part of him was  
  
smug, and haughty, because it had know he wasn't good enough. The demon inside  
  
him was thirsty for her blood, and he was infuriated on many other levels as well. Then,  
  
there was a paper thin slice of him that said it was a misunderstanding, a mistake. That   
  
they had been misled. That it was all a lie, and not her fault.   
  
The bloodthirsty demon within quickly rid him of that thought, and destroyed  
  
it in place of Kikyo.   
  
.  
  
.  
  
"There she goes and I'm on the ground,   
  
I'm on the ground, I'm on the-   
  
Well don't deny   
  
The hand that feeds you needs you   
  
Oh god I'd die to try to   
  
Finally please you   
  
Will you crawl to me   
  
Will you fall with me   
  
I've never crawled to you   
  
I've done it all for you"  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
"That's it!" his thoughts cried out. "I will seek my revenge upon this frigid  
  
whore! I will hate her for the rest of my life!!!"  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
And he closed his eyes to sleep, satisfied with his final decision, but a soft   
  
scent reached his nostrils, and a sound make his ears twitch. His eyes snapped open   
  
at once, and there,before him, was the face of Kikyo...  
  
.  
  
.  
  
she was holding him tightly...  
  
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Notes: The song used was "Deny" by Default.   
  
Yes, I know it was a short chapter. I've been busy, school is wrapping up,   
  
and I've been caught up in the commotion. I figured I'd write this and post it,  
  
since it was necessary and moves the plot along. It took me a max of 20   
  
minutes. Not too bad...  
  
For those of you who are confused:  
  
We begin, and Inuyasha is depressed. Apparently he's been trying to  
  
write poetry,[the poem which he is writing is placed at the beginning of each   
  
chapter]. We learn that there is something he wants to forget. Something that's  
  
made him lose sleep and lose hope. We are not told what this something is.  
  
A Naiad confronts him on this, and he runs away.  
  
As he runs, we flashback a night he had spent with Kikyo. As he sings,  
  
he finds himself in Kagome's bed, and we realize that he had a dream, but  
  
he, himself, does not completely realize it.  
  
He goes to the shower, and tries to sort things out. In the shower he meet   
  
another Inuyasha [this is in HIS HEAD...and the other Inuyasha is symbolic  
  
of his other self, the self who loves Kagome, but he doesn't understand that].  
  
In the shower he returns to dreaming of the last night he spent with Kikyo.   
  
This then goes into the event of Kikyo shooting Inuyasha down.  
  
This chapter is what Inuyasha was dreaming while he was attached to the tree.  
  
And the face he saw wasn't Kikyo's...it was Kagome's but upon waking, he  
  
didn't realize that... 


End file.
